So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
