She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
