Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
