I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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