i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
