Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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