if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
