Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
