That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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