try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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