So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
