There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
