I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
