I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
