his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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