He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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