the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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