So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
