Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
