miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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