Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
did i walk over a car last night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
