Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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