i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
