I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
