So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
