Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
