I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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