I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
