Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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