so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
