And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
