please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
