I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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