Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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