9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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