Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's like iHOP with fire
She even gives head with a lisp.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
