Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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