Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
