He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
