Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
