Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
