i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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