Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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