tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
