i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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