Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
