TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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