I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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