I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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