Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
