He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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